We are Family
by CandyApple75
Summary: Based on Snow and Charming's conversation in 'Manhattan'. Snow has the bright idea to have the entire extended family together for Thanksgiving dinner. Because everything in Storybrooke always goes according to plan. *Now Continued!*
1. Thanksgiving

**This was screaming to be done. After Sunday's episode, I had the seed in my head and it just had to be done. I have no regrets. Yes, this fic is 90% based on stuff that has happened during my family's Thanksgiving dinners. Except we don't use magic. **

**I don't own it because this would totally happen if I did. And this is un-betaed, so beware of the typo ninjas.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**One Week before Thanksgiving:**

"Do we really have to do this?" Emma asked. Well, it was more like whining. There was no way she was going along with Snow's new idea to have everyone in their extended family together for Thanksgiving dinner.

"Yes. We do," Snow said. "This might be a great opportunity for everyone to get together and mellow out and get along."

"And if Regina brings an apple pie?"

"It's going straight in the garbage can. I don't trust her."

"Exactly!" Emma cried. "You don't trust her, so what makes you think this is a good idea?"

"I want to try it out."

"Alright then, let's go through this guest list," Emma said. "Me, you, David, Henry, Regina, Neal, Gold, Belle, Cora, Hook, Ruby and Granny. There's no way that's going to end well."

"Emma's right," David said. "We just bought this house. I don't want to be sweeping up the ashes anytime soon. And wait a second. Hook's coming?"

"Through Milah, he's Henry's step grandfather. And I think he and Cora might have some kind of thing going on," Emma explained. "But regardless of who's coming, it's still a stupid idea that's probably going to get us all killed."

"It'll be fun and that's final," Snow said. "Ruby and Granny are coming over early on Thursday to help us make all the food. We'll have dinner, the guys catch watch football, the rest of us can talk, we'll have dessert and then everyone'll leave and that's it."

"Because everything in our life always goes according to plan," Emma said.

"Come on," Snow said. "For better or for worse, these people are our family. Thanksgiving is supposed to be a day to put aside our differences for one day and share a meal with the people we love."

"Out of everyone coming two of them have tried to kill me on multiple occasions, one is a lousy pirate who can turn anything into innuendo, one landed me in prison and one is an evil, manipulative bastard. Out of a dozen people, that leaves six that I can stand. Explain to me how that will end well."

"I…well we…there will be pie."

"Pumpkin?"

"Sure."

"Fine, I'm in," Emma said. "Just give me some time to charge up my video camera. I want to remember this day for as long as I live."

* * *

**Three Days before Thanksgiving:**

"Okay. Emma, you're in charge of the vegetables. We need potatoes, carrots, green beans, sweet potatoes, yams, olives and whatever else you can think of. David, you get boxed and canned foods like cranberry sauce, corn muffin mix, canned vegetables, etc. Henry, you come with me. We'll get the turkey and the stuff for desserts." Snow handed Emma and David lists and then started off toward the turkeys with Henry.

Emma sighed. There was no point in arguing anymore, so she just rolled her eyes and stalked off towards the produce aisle with a basket. She grabbed all of the vegetables Snow had asked for plus a few heads of lettuce, some cucumbers and some blueberries and strawberries.

It turned out she was the first one done. Since Snow had the money, all she could do was wait by the cash register. Ten minutes later, David came over to her.

"What took you so long?" Emma asked.

"Do you know how many different kinds of stuffing there are? And don't even get me started on the cranberry sauce."

"So which one did you get?" Emma asked as she peered into his basket.

"I just closed my eyes and grabbed the first three boxes I touched."

Emma laughed. "Wow. You really are getting the hang of this 'dad' thing."

"Thank you," David said with a proud smile.

It took Snow and Henry another ten minutes to get to the registers. Snow paid for everything while Emma and David waited outside. Neither of them actually wanted to know how much this dinner would cost.

Once they got home, everyone had to help get the groceries inside. Henry nearly broke a jar of pickles, David dropped the bag with the turkey in it and Emma barely avoided breaking the eggs. The whole time, Snow was smiling. It was obvious that she thought this was a great idea.

* * *

**The Day before Thanksgiving:**

"Explain to me again why I ever decided to go along with this," Emma said. She had already polished the table so much that she could actually see herself in it, polished the wooden floor until she could hardly even walk across it and now she was stuck scrubbing the silverware.

"Think about the pie," Snow said as she put the finishing touches on a chocolate cream pie and placed it in the refrigerator.

"Oh, it's going to take a lot more than one piece of pumpkin pie to make up for this."

"Let's look on the bright side here," David said. "After tomorrow, Archie will be the richest fake psychiatrist in the world. And Whale might make some good money too."

Henry came racing into the dining room. He skidded to a stop and narrowly avoided hitting the table. "I finished the centerpiece!" he cried.

"Alright, let's see it then," Emma said. She all but threw down the spoon she was holding and turned towards her son.

"Drum roll please," Henry said. Emma and David each grabbed spoons and tapped out a drum roll on the table.

"Ta-da!" Henry exclaimed. He pulled the centerpiece from behind his back and smiled as Emma and his grandparents gasped.

"Henry, that's…" Emma started. "That's amazing!" When Henry had declared that he was making the centerpiece, she had expected some construction paper leaves, a few hand turkeys and maybe some pinecones.

Instead the boy was holding a wreath comprised of pinecones and dried cranberries. In the center was a white pillar candle in a glass vase. The vase was filled halfway with crushed red, brown, orange and yellow leaves. Glued around the bottom of the vase were orange roses.

"Wow, Henry," Snow said. "That's beautiful."

"How did you do that?" David asked.

"I have my ways," Henry said with a smile. "You like it?"

"I love it," Snow said. "I'm sure everyone will love it."

"Hey, it's seven o'clock. What are we having for dinner?" Emma asked.

"Make yourself a sandwich or something," Snow replied. "Don't touch anything I've made. And finish up the silverware."

"Whatever you say," Emma grumbled. She picked up her polishing cloth. There was not enough pumpkin pie in the world to get her through tomorrow.

* * *

**Thanksgiving:**

Snow was up at five in the morning getting ready for everyone to come. The turkey had been defrosting in the fridge all night, several pies were done, but there was still so much to cook. She looked around the kitchen and was once again grateful that they had bought a bigger house. One with a dual oven.

Emma was the second one up. Around eight o'clock, she awoke to the most heavenly scent she had ever smelled. It was warm and homey and spicy and sweet. She lifted her head off her pillow and actually had to wipe a bit of drool off her cheek.

"Good morning," Emma said when she got downstairs.

"Morning," Snow replied. "Can you pass me the bag of marshmallows please?"

"Sure." Emma passed her mother the bag and looked around the kitchen. The turkey was in the upper oven and an assortment of casseroles was in the lower one. There were pie tins waiting to be filled on the counters, a pot of gravy on the stove, a bowl of mashed potatoes by the mixer and a bag of rolls next to the sink.

"Geez, when did I become related to Rachel Ray?" Emma asked.

"Who?" Snow asked.

"She was the host of a cooking show. I used to watch her sometimes."

"Great. Ruby and Granny should be here any minute now. Can you start setting the table?"

"No problem," Emma said. She grabbed the silverware that had been polished so much that they now functioned better as mirrors, the white plates with the gold rims and the cream-colored napkins and started setting the table.

Just as she was finishing up, she heard a knock at the door. "I got it!" she called to Snow before opening the door and letting Ruby and Granny into the house.

"Hey," Ruby said. "How's it going?"

"Well, Snow might be having a mental breakdown and David and Henry are still asleep," Emma said.

"Well then it looks like we're right on time."

"Oh thank goodness," Snow said. "You're here."

"Do you guys need my help?" Emma asked.

"Nope, we should be okay. Why don't you go take a shower and get dressed? Everyone else will be here pretty soon."

Emma didn't bother to point out that no one else would be showing up for almost four hours and instead decided to just head upstairs and get ready. At least this way she would get as much hot water as she wanted.

~*oO0Oo*~

By ten o'clock, Emma had finished her shower, gotten dressed and was now stretched out on the couch watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade on TV. Henry was still in his pajamas and sitting on the floor. David had tried to go into the kitchen to eat breakfast and had come out less than thirty seconds later with marks from being hit with spatulas and spoons.

"I think they're going a little insane in there," he said.

"Oh, they're past insane. I had a foster home once that was like this. This is full-on Thanksgiving mode," Emma said.

"I just wanted some toast."

"Here." Emma passed her father a granola bar. "I grabbed some stuff yesterday."

"I love you," David said. He unwrapped the granola bar and bit into happily. He slid onto the couch next to Emma. "What are we watching?"

"The Macy's parade," Henry said. "They have the coolest balloons and floats and bands and singers and everything!"

"Apparently this is the first year he's seen it," Emma said.

"Who are they?" David asked as he noticed a group of dancers on the screen.

"The Radio City Rockettes," Emma said. "I met one once. I think her name was Kelly. And I had a science teacher in high school whose daughter was one. And he had a son who was a rocket scientist. I hated that teacher so much I…"

"Hush," David said. His eyes were glued to the screen as the Rockettes started doing their eye-high kicks.

"In Snow's absence, I feel this is necessary," Emma said before she slapped David upside the head.

Henry giggled and the trio watched the parade in silence for almost an hour before Snow announced that she needed to shower and that Henry needed to go get dressed. Ruby and Granny stepped out of the kitchen and sat down to watch the parade.

Fifteen minutes later, Henry came downstairs and it was all Emma could do to keep from laughing. Snow had gotten the boy into a red button-down, black dress pants and dress shoes. He was wearing a tie with autumn leaves on it and his hair was gelled back. He looked like a nerd on school picture day.

"Come here, kid," Emma said. "Are you comfortable in that?"

Henry shook his head and Emma set to work. She ran her hands through his hair, pulled off his tie and instructed him to take off his shoes.

"Much better," Emma said.

"You look very…charming," David said with a smile. The comment earned him a punch to the arm from Emma.

"Thanks, Emma," Henry said. He plopped himself back down on the floor and continued watching the parade.

~*oO0Oo*~

Around noon, there was a knock at the door. No one else moved, so Emma stood up and pulled it open.

"Hello, Miss Swan," Regina said. "I brought some lasagna and I made a pie."

"What kind?"

"Apple." Emma gave Regina an incredulous look like she couldn't believe that the brunette was serious. "What was I supposed to do? Make a banana pie?" Regina asked sarcastically.

"Well it smells good. I'll try to hide it from my mother. Henry's in the living room."

"Thank you," Regina said. She hung her coat up in the closet and made her way into the living room.

Just as Emma was going back to the parade, the doorbell rang. "Seriously? I have to get it again?"

She didn't get a reply, so she went back and opened the door. It was Neal.

"Hey," he said. "I brought beer."

"We've got wine, you know," Emma said.

"I brought beer anyway," he said. "Can I come in?"

Emma stepped out of the way and let him in. She kept the door open when she saw Belle and Gold coming up the walk.

"Hi," Belle said. "We didn't know what to bring so I made brownies."

"That's fine," Emma said. "You can put them anywhere you can find room in the kitchen."

Emma closed the door only to hear another knock the second she stepped forward. She opened it and saw Hook and Cora standing on the step. A few tendrils of wispy, blue smoke dissipated around their feet.

"Come on in," Emma sighed. "Everyone's in the living room."

The parade was still going on and everyone was sitting in various places throughout the room. So far so good. Emma checked her pocket to make sure her camcorder was still there. She had never seen a reason to use it before, but this was a perfect day to break it in.

Snow came downstairs with a huge smile plastered on her face. "Dinner will be ready soon so everyone can just wait in here for a little longer. I'll finish everything up and then we can eat."

Neal took a sip of his beer and looked over at Emma. "There is not enough alcohol in the world to make this a good idea."

"Thank you," Emma said. "Someone gets it."

"What is that?" Cora asked. She was staring at the Hello Kitty balloon as it floated across the screen in the parade.

"That's a balloon of Hello Kitty," Emma said.

"Where's Goodbye Kitty?" Cora asked.

"It doesn't work like that, Mother," Regina said. "It's a cartoon character."

"Does anyone else smell something burning?" Ruby asked.

Emma sniffed the air and did smell a hint of smoke. A second later, smoke started blowing into the living room from the kitchen.

"Snow?" David called. Emma pulled out her camcorder and turned it on. She'd surely want to remember if her house caught fire on Thanksgiving.

Ruby, Granny, David, Emma, Henry and Regina all went into the kitchen. Neal sipped his beer, Hook and Cora were staring at the TV and Gold and Belle didn't want to crowd the kitchen.

Snow was standing over the stove fanning the smoke away from a blackened turkey.

"What happened?" Ruby asked.

"I guess some of the juice dripped down and burned it," Snow said. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"It's okay," Emma said. "Just scrape the skin off. This happened once when I was little. It's not overcooked so if you just scrape off the skin, it's still good."

"Yeah," Granny said. "And we've got plenty of other food. It's still fine."

Snow sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Alright. Can you help me bring the food out? Everything's ready."

Emma, David, Granny, Ruby and Regina all grabbed dishes and brought them out to the table while Henry told everyone in the living room that it was dinner time.

~*oO0Oo*~

"Mother, can you pass the mashed potatoes please?" Regina asked. Cora handed her the bowl and Regina scooped some onto her plate.

The tension in the room was so thick that Emma swore she could cut it with a knife.

"So who wants to hear about my new comic book?" Henry asked.

"I would love to hear about your comic book, lad," Hook said. "After all, I am your step grandfather."

"No more grandfathers," Charming grumbled.

"Like I said," Neal said. "Not enough alcohol."

"Does anyone want some wine?" Snow asked.

"I'll have some," Cora said. Snow filled her glass and set the wine bottle back down on the table.

"This lasagna is really good," David said politely.

"It's poisoned," Regina said. David spit his mouthful of lasagna back onto his plate and grabbed his water glass. Regina was laughing madly and Cora was smiling. "I'm kidding," Regina said.

David glared at her and started eating again.

"So, Belle," Snow said. "How's the library?"

"It's good. I just found a few boxes of old books in the office so I've got some cataloging to do."

"That's nice."

"Regina, dearie," Gold said. "How's redemption going?"

"Shut up," Regina growled.

"I asked a question," Gold said.

"Why don't we all just calm down a bit?" Belle asked. She placed her hand on Gold's arm.

"I don't think I want to answer it," Regina said.

"Come on," Snow said. "Everything was going so well."

"Please," Gold said.

Emma let her head fall to the table. When she looked up, Regina had a fireball swirling in her hand. Emma saw Hook pass Cora a ten dollar bill under the table.

"We just bought this place!" David said.

"Mom," Henry said. "Stop."

Regina looked like she was about to throw the fireball, but Emma grabbed her water glass and doused the brunette. The fireball fizzled out in a puff of smoke. Ruby and Granny were trying to hold in their laughter, Snow and David cracked a smile. Neal almost spit out his beer. Hook and Cora were laughing openly.

"I believe this is what they call payback," Gold said.

"What for?!" Regina cried as she turned to Emma.

"Hurry, Henry," Emma said. "Get some pictures before she dries herself off."

"It's not even time for dessert yet," Snow complained.

~*oO0Oo*~

After dinner, Neal, David, Gold, Henry, Granny and Hook retreated into the living room to watch football. Well, they were trying to explain the game to Hook and Gold.

Snow had gone into the kitchen and wasn't coming out yet. Ruby had tried to go in, but whenever she did, she got hit with a spatula. Cora, Regina, Emma, Ruby and Belle sat awkwardly around the table. Until Cora broke the silence.

"Regina, dear. You're dripping on me. Go dry off."

"I'll be right back," Regina said. She glared at Cora and then stalked off towards the bathroom.

"So…" Emma said.

"Dessert time!" Snow called. She recruited Emma, Ruby and Belle to help her bring in the pies, cookies, brownies and the German chocolate pound cake. The men and Granny came in to get some dessert.

"There's so much!" Belle exclaimed. "I don't even know what half of these are!"

"They're delicious," Emma said. "Now give me some cake and some pumpkin pie."

~*oO0Oo*~

In less than ten minutes, all that was left was Regina's apple pie, a few cake crumbs and one slice of pumpkin pie. Ruby and Emma were both eyeing the pie slice. Neither of them said a word. They simply stared at each other across the table.

After a minute, Ruby's hand snaked out and she started to grab the pie tin, but Emma was quicker. She grabbed her fork and slammed it into the table less than an inch from Ruby's hand. She pulled it away and Emma smirked as she grabbed the pie tin. She pulled her fork out of the table, squirted whipped cream directly into the tin and started eating.

"Hey," Snow said, completely ignoring the new holes in her table. "Where's Regina?"

"I thought she was just drying off," Ruby replied.

"Oh no," Emma said. "Neal's gone too."

Snow's face paled. Granny had to struggle not to laugh. Cora's face lit up as she put two and two together.

"I'll go find them," Emma said. She stuffed the last of her pie into her mouth and stalked off to find Regina and Neal. The bathroom door was open, but they weren't in there. They also weren't in any of the bedrooms, the living room or the basement.

Finally Emma walked into the front hall. She pulled open the closet door and smiled when she saw Regina and Neal making out like teenagers. She cleared her throat and had to resist the urge to start taking pictures when Regina turned bright red.

"I…we…" she started.

"Apparently there is enough alcohol," Neal said.

"Are you guys, like…together?" Emma asked.

"No," Regina snapped. "We just…"

"Started making out in the closet for no reason," Emma said. "You two don't make that bad of a couple. And I'm sure your parents will be happy."

"Shut up," Regina said. "I blame the alcohol."

"You guys missed dessert, but I think Snow's going to make us play board games and then go lock herself back in the kitchen doing who knows what."

"Sounds good to me," Neal said. He took another swig of his beer and wrapped an arm around Regina's shoulder. She didn't even try to shrug him off.

They walked back into the dining room and Emma instantly regretted it. The guys and Granny were back in the living room. Henry, Belle, Ruby and Cora were gathered around the table playing Life.

"This is a stupid game," Cora said. She took another sip of her wine. "I'm burdened with a husband and several tiny pink children and more cash than I can reasonably manage."

"That's a good thing," Ruby said.

"Yeah. The cash means you're winning," Henry said.

"Oh," Cora said. She reached into the box and grabbed a small handful of tiny pink pegs. "Can I trade in the children for more cash?"

Belle let her head fall onto the table. Ruby dropped the cookie she was holding.

"Mother?" Regina asked. She sat down at the table and Neal headed into the living room. "What are you doing?"

Cora took another sip of her wine. "Playing the game of life. It doesn't make sense though. Life takes much longer than this."

"What smells so heavenly?" Belle asked. Everyone sniffed the air. It smelled so sweet and delicious, but Emma couldn't place exactly what it was she was smelling.

"Everyone into the dining room!" Snow called from the kitchen. Granny and the guys came back into the room and everyone sat down at the table. Cora sipped her wine and giggled.

Snow came out of the kitchen with a plate in her hands. "Since tomorrow marks the start of the Christmas season, I have a special surprise for you all." She set the plate down on the table and pulled off the napkin that was covering it revealing an assortment of frosted sugar cookies in the shape of Christmas trees, Santa hats, presents and ornaments. "The first Christmas cookies of the year."

Emma was the first one to grab a cookie. "Wow," she said. "This is delicious!"

"They are!" Henry said.

In a matter of minutes, everyone had eaten at least three cookies. Cora was sipping her wine which never seemed to run out. She started giggling.

"Regina," she said. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"What, Mother?" Regina asked.

"Henry wasn't your father. It was Rum…Rumple…the imp."

The room fell completely silent. Everyone looked from Regina to Gold to Cora.

"What?" Regina squeaked.

Cora laughed. "I'm joking!" she said. "You're not his daughter. He'd be a horrible father."

"Got that right," Neal said.

Gold breathed a sigh of relief. Regina glared daggers at her mother. Hook was just laughing like an idiot.

"On that note, I think we should say that Thanksgiving's over before it gets any worse," David said.

"Thank you," Belle said. "We had a wonderful time."

"Do you want to take home some leftovers?" Snow asked.

"Sure."

Snow filled a few Tupperware containers with leftovers and gave them to Belle and Gold. "Thanks so much for coming," she said.

"Thank you for having us," Belle said. She nudged Gold.

"Yes. Thank you," he said. Then they walked outside and headed home.

One by one, the other guests left. Regina and Neal left together. No one seemed all that surprised. Ruby and Granny were the last to leave. Finally though, everyone was gone and Emma, David, Henry and Snow all but collapsed in the living room.

"That went better than I thought," Emma said.

"It was kind of fun," Henry agreed.

"Well the house is still standing and no one died, so I'd say it was a success," David said.

"It did make me realize that half this town is a mess of inbreeding and bizarre marriages," Emma said. "And I think Regina and Neal are 'together' now, so I think that might make things crazier."

"Did you all have fun?" Snow asked hopefully.

"Yeah," Henry said.

"Sure," David said.

"I guess so," Emma said. "Can we never ever do anything like that again?"

"Well, I kind of already invited everyone for Christmas," Snow said quietly.

Emma buried her face in a couch cushion and screamed. David got up and walked away.

"I think Mom left her apple pie here," Henry said.

"What pie?" Snow asked.

"The one that no one ate."

"Oh, that pie was accidently destroyed maliciously."

"What do you mean?"

"I threw it away. It was apple and it was from Regina," Snow said. "Now who's ready to help clean up?"

Emma and Henry followed David upstairs. Snow shrugged. More leftovers for her then.

* * *

**Seriously. Those writers can't put something like this out there and not expect someone to do something about it. And like I said, I have no regrets. Anyone for a Christmas chapter (eventually)? **

**And yes, I actually did meet a Rockette named Kelly on a band trip once. And my science teacher has a daughter who's a Rockette and a son who's a rocket scientist and I really don't like him. (The teacher, not the son.) :)**


	2. Christmas

**It's March. I'm writing a Christmas story…in March. And yet somehow I'm not surprised at this. Well, I'm enjoying myself. Christmas carols never get old.**

**Wanted to have this up sooner, but I didn't so I made it longer instead. Any complaints? No? Well then let's get this show on the road!**

**Still don't own it. Show of hands…who's actually surprised by this?**

* * *

**December 1st:**

"I hate this," Emma said. "This is stupid. Why can't we just get a fake tree? They make ones that look really real and it'll last longer."

"But this is much more fun," Snow said. "Now stop complaining and help us find a tree."

"Yeah, Emma," Henry said. "How can you be in a bad mood when we're picking out a Christmas tree?"

"Well, why don't we consult the list? I was dragged out of bed at six o'clock in the morning, I had a single piece of toast for breakfast, it's cold, it's snowing and my mother who appears to have had a mental breakdown invited our entire dysfunctional family over for Christmas dinner. How can I be in a good mood right now?"

"Lighten up, Ems," David said.

"No," Emma snapped. "And my name is Emma. You picked it, you can say it."

"Oh, this'll be so much fun," Snow declared.

"That's what you said about Thanksgiving before Neal and Cora and possibly Regina got drunk and I almost stabbed Ruby for pie and if I hadn't doused Regina, our house might have burned down," Emma said. "Not to mention the general awkwardness that happens whenever we're all put in a room together."

"But this is Christmas," Snow insisted. It'll be much more fun and I'm sure the Christmas Spirit will make everyone get along."

"What about this one?" David asked, abruptly changing the topic before Emma could say anything else. "It's the perfect size for the living room. We can put it in the corner opposite the TV and there's plenty of room for presents and ornaments."

"I like it," Snow said.

"It's nice," Henry agreed.

"Great. Now can we buy the damn thing and get out of here? I'm freezing," Emma said. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself and shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"Alright," Snow said. "Go pay for it."

David and Henry raced off to pay for the tree and Snow took a few steps closer to Emma.

"It'll be fine," she said. "No one died on Thanksgiving. Yeah, it was awkward and strange and…"

"Don't forget Regina and Neal hooking up in the closet," Emma interrupted. "They never said two words to each other before then and they still don't talk now."

"Look," Snow said wrapping her arms around her daughter. "The point is that we now have a full family and no matter how weird it may be and regardless of how evil certain members of it might have been, we're still a family. Family has to stick together."

"Can't we just stick together by mail and phone calls?"

"No. Now come on and help your father out. We have a lot of work to do before Christmas Eve."

**December 3rd:**

"If I hear Frosty the Snowman one more time, I might rip my own head off," Emma said. She wrapped another piece of gold tinsel around the tree and started to reach for the radio, but Snow slapped her hand away.

"It's Christmas music and you better get used to it because it's not going anywhere."

"Bah freakin' humbug."

"It's Christmas," Henry said. "You're not allowed to be upset around Christmas."

"I'll be upset if I want to be upset. I think I should be more concerned about what the hell you all took to stay so happy. Do live in a house full of addicts now?

"It's the Christmas Spirit," David said. "And also I'm told there will be cookies at the dinner."

Emma rolled her eyes and pulled a glass ornament out of the box at her feet. "Look. All I'm asking is to change the radio station for a little while or at least find some station that's not playing five different renditions of the same annoying song back to back."

"No," Snow said. "You three finish up the decorations and I'll go start dinner."

"Hey," David whispered when Snow was out of earshot. "At least we have some idea of what to expect this time. It's not like Thanksgiving where it was probably the first time everyone's sat down and had to be civil to each other."

"You all weren't traumatized by seeing your arch-nemesis and the father of your son groping each other in the coat closet. That was probably one of the most emotionally scarring things I've ever witnessed."

"Arch nemesis? Really?"

"Okay, not my arch nemesis," Emma admonished. "But it was still scarring."

"I think you need to get more into the Christmas Spirit," Henry said. "More music!" He turned up the radio even louder and laughed as We Wish You a Merry Christmas started blaring through the speakers. Emma could hear Snow laughing in the kitchen. There was no way she was going to make it through Christmas.

**December 10th:**

"Who's ready to go shopping?" Snow asked as she walked into the living room. Elf was playing on the TV and Henry was sprawled on the floor watching it. Emma had claimed the sofa. Obviously she had taken it by force judging by David's disgruntled expression, the pillow in Emma's hand and the fact that David was laying on the floor in front of the sofa.

"Why do we need to go shopping?" Emma asked without looking up from her bowl of popcorn.

"We need to start buying Christmas presents," Snow said. The duh was implied.

"I don't like half of the people coming and they don't like me. Why should I buy them presents?"

"Because they're family and you have to get used to them. Now you can either come with me now or I'll wake you all up at the crack of dawn on Saturday and we can go shopping then."

"Are you threatening us?" David asked.

"So what if I am?"

"Can't we go after the movie?" Henry asked. "There's only, like, half an hour left."

"You've seen this movie three times today," Snow said.

"It's a classic," Emma snapped. "We'll go shopping another time."

Snow walked over to the DVD cabinet and scanned the cases until she found the one she was looking for. "Look what I found," she said holding out the case. "It's a Wonderful Life."

"You wouldn't dare," Emma said. Her eyes widened and her hands slipped from the popcorn bowl. It landed right on David's head.

"Oh, I totally would. We're going shopping. Now."

Emma and Henry jumped up and raced towards the car. David stood up and Snow came up behind him. She picked a piece of popcorn out of his hair and smiled.

"You know you've gone completely insane, right?" David asked.

"Life's more fun this way," Snow replied. "Besides, I think it might be the only way to survive our nightmare family."

"Not everyone's a nightmare," David said as he wrapped his arms around Snow and pulled her close.

"Not now, Charming. There's a reason Emma won't sit on the living room carpet anymore."

David sighed and settled for planting a quick kiss on his wife's cheek. They heard a car horn outside. Snow grabbed her purse and keys and headed outside.

~*oO0Oo*~

"You know, I never really liked malls around Christmastime, but when you don't have the luxury of staying in a heated building and buying all of your presents in the same store, you learn to miss everything about it. Even the crying kids and the angry teenagers and the Santas.

"Well I've never been to a mall before, so I suppose I'll just have to take your word for it," Snow said. "Now I vote hot chocolate at Granny's and then we can head home and wrap."

"Fine," Emma said. "Just let it be known that I have bought everything I'm buying until New Year's. No more shopping."

"I'm with her," David said. "I'm done with this."

"Okay," Snow said. "You've done your time. I think you're off the hook. Henry? What about you?"

"I hate shopping," Henry moaned. "Mom never even made me go grocery shopping with her before."

"Well we're done now. It's about time to start family-proofing our house anyway."

**December 23rd: **

The rest of the month passed in a haze of decorating, wrapping, baking and crafting. Now of course, they were back to the day-before-a-holiday cleaning frenzy. Emma was once again stuck polishing anything that wasn't shining like glass. Snow was doing a little cooking, Henry was writing a last minute letter to Santa and David was stuck vacuuming.

"What time is everyone coming over tomorrow?" Emma asked finally. She threw the fork she was polishing onto the table right next to the holes left from her fight with Ruby over pie on Thanksgiving.

"Ruby and Granny are closing the diner after the breakfast rush around ten, Regina's getting here around eleven and then everyone else should be here around noon."

"And you're sure there's no way to cancel the dinner and just have a quiet family Christmas?"

"No. Besides, if we wanted a 'quiet family Christmas,' Regina would have to come because she's Henry's mother and I don't think I could handle her alone without the added entertainment value of Cora and Hook and Neal."

"I'm just saying," Emma said. "We barely made it out alive on Thanksgiving and somehow I don't think the Christmas Spirit is going to change that."

"Thanksgiving wasn't that bad," Snow protested. "I think it went pretty well."

"Do I really need to bring up the closet incident again?"

"Look, we'll worry about this tomorrow. Finish up the silverware and we'll put on a movie before bed."

"What movie?"

"Frosty the Snowman," Snow said with a smirk. She narrowly avoided the spoon that Emma whipped at the back of her head.

**Christmas Eve:**

Similar to Thanksgiving, Snow was up at the crack of dawn to start her preparations for the coming dinner. She didn't have near as much to cook this time, but there was still food to be made and a kitchen to be cleaned before everyone arrived.

Emma rolled out of bed around seven thirty. She made her way downstairs to find Snow rushing around the kitchen. Christmas carols were already playing and the warm scents of peppermint, cocoa and cinnamon mixed in the air. The lights on the Christmas tree glowed and there was snow falling outside the windows.

"It feels like I stepped into a Christmas movie," Emma said.

Snow jumped and smiled when she turned around. "I know. Isn't it just magical?"

"Yeah, sure. As long as there isn't any actual magic involved." Emma said.

"None that I know of," Snow said with a smile. "Now come help me clean up the kitchen a little bit before everyone gets here."

"Merry Christmas!" Henry cried as he raced down the stairs.

"Merry Christmas, kid," Emma said. "You're up early."

"I'm just so excited!"

"Well just don't burst on me or anything. I need you to help me get through the dinner. Why don't you go put on a movie and I'll come watch in a minute."

"Okay!" Henry exclaimed as he raced off toward the living room.

"Alright. He is not getting his hands on any sugar today," Emma said to Snow.

Snow smiled. "Relax. Everything's going to be fine."

~*oO0Oo*~

True to Snow's word, Ruby and Granny arrived around ten thirty. They both dropped their presents under the tree and then joined Snow in the kitchen. Everything seemed to be running smoothly. Emma and Henry had a stack of Christmas movies on the coffee table next to a giant bowl of popcorn.

They were halfway through Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas when the doorbell rang.

"Emma!" Snow called. "Can you get the door please?"

Emma made a show of stretching and getting up from the sofa. She arched her back and only grinned wider when she heard Snow call, "Faster!"

When she finally opened the door, Emma saw Regina standing on the step.

"Hey, Merry Christmas," Emma said. She eyed the stack of gifts balanced precariously in Regina's arms. "Are any of those for me?"

"Maybe," Regina said. "Now get of my way. It's cold out here."

Henry came racing into the room and skidded to a stop. "Hey, Mom. Merry Christmas!"

Regina set her boxes down on the hall table and started pulling off her coat before she looked over at Emma and asked, "How much sugar has he had today?"

"I think I'd like to know that too," Emma said. Both women put their hands on their hips and turned to the boy.

"I only had three candy canes and a few cookies," Henry said quickly. "And I won't eat anymore until dessert time."

"Emma, we need you for a sec!" Ruby called.

"Coming!" Emma yelled back. "Henry, why don't you take your mom in the living room? You can put the presents under the tree and keep watching the movies."

"Okay!" Henry grabbed Regina's hand and started to drag her into the living room. He didn't even notice when she snapped her fingers and the gifts started floating behind them.

Emma made her way into the kitchen where she was met with a wall of scents.

"Oh good," Snow said. "I need to go get dressed before everyone else gets here and I need you to make the sugar cookies."

"Why me?"

"Because Granny and I have to go pick up a few things from the diner," Ruby said.

"I'll send your father down to help you," Snow said.

"In what universe is it a good idea for me and David to be left alone in a fully stocked kitchen?" Emma asked.

"Get Regina to help you if you have to. All we need is a batch of sugar cookies. It's not that hard and I'm sure you can figure it out. Just don't set anything on fire or slice each other's hands off."

"No guarantees," Emma grumbled. Snow didn't pay her any attention. She simply turned and walked out of the kitchen. Ruby squeezed Emma's hand supportively, but she and Granny left too. After a few minutes, David stumbled into the kitchen with a disgruntled expression.

"I was told we have to make cookies," he said.

"I was told the same thing. You know, I'm seriously beginning to question Snow's mental state."

"Beginning?" David asked. "I started on the day I met her and it hasn't stopped since."

"Alright, well what do we do first?" Emma asked. "Scratch that. First thing we do is turn off the damn music." She stomped over to the radio that was playing We Wish You a Merry Christmas and slapped it until the song changed to Sarajevo by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. "Now this is a song to bake cookies to."

David pulled a mixing bowl out of the cabinet and Emma started grabbing the ingredients listed on the card Snow had left her. Less than ten minutes later, the pair had a bowl full of a substance that vaguely resembled cookie dough. They somehow managed to get all of the dough onto the trays and then Emma turned to David.

"Do you find it weird that the two of us were able to bake an entire batch of cookies without getting into a food fight?"

"Yeah. It's kind of weird actually," David said. Then he shrugged and Emma followed him into the living room.

~*oO0Oo*~

By two o'clock, Belle, Gold, Hook, Cora and Neal had all arrived, Ruby and Granny were back and everyone was in the living room watching the ending credits of The Polar Express.

"I don't understand this," Cora said.

"There's a shock," Regina muttered. Her mother ignored her, but Hook and Neal were chuckling. Cora just continued talking.

"The movie was called The Polar Express and there weren't any polar bears."

"No," Henry said. "The train was called the Polar Express 'cause it traveled to the North Pole."

"What's a train?" Cora asked.

"Who's ready for dinner?" Snow asked. She clapped her hands together and stood up. "I think everything's ready, so everyone can wait in the dining room and Emma and I will bring everything in."

"I'll help," Belle offered.

"Me too," Ruby said.

"You don't have to," Snow said. "Emma and I will be fine."

"Whatever then," Ruby said. "You guys are on your own." She grinned and then linked arms with Belle and headed into the dining room. Emma and Snow managed to carry all the food out to the table and then everyone started to eat.

~*oO0Oo*~

"Emma, you should eat _something _green," Snow said when she caught sight of Emma's plate heaped with ham, rolls, mashed potatoes and Regina's lasagna.

"I'm planning on eating a dollar bill later," Emma replied. "Besides, it's Christmas. It's like Thanksgiving only more cookies and lots of presents."

"Look at the example you're setting for Henry," Regina snapped. "You need fruit and vegetables every day."

"Then I'll eat a five. They have the peach coloring in them. Fruits and veggies all in one convenient piece of paper," Emma countered. "Besides, you're my grandmother. Aren't grandmothers supposed to be nice and give out hard candy?"

Henry giggled. David and Gold were smiling and Hook and Neal were both laughing openly. Emma stood up slowly, a realization written on her face. "Excuse us for a second," she said. She grabbed the two men by their arms and dragged them into the hallway.

An awkward silence descended over the table. Finally Snow spoke up. "So Granny, how's the diner?"

~*oO0Oo*~

"Give it to me right now," Emma commanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hook said.

"The rum or scotch or beer or whatever the hell you two are drinking. Our memories of this Christmas do not need to include one or both of you dying of alcohol poisoning or worse."

"Worse?" Neal asked.

"Do I really have to bring up the closet incident?" Emma asked. Neal shuddered. "That's the danger of alcohol. Now give it to me."

Hook sighed and handed over his flask of rum. Neal did the same with his beer.

"Thank you," Emma said. "Now let's all go have a nice, fun, family Christmas or die trying."

The trio headed back into the dining room to find that the desserts had already been laid out on the table with the centerpiece being an enormous gingerbread house. Henry's plate was piled high with a little bit of everything. Regina and Gold both had a single cookie and were eating it painstakingly slowly. Ruby, Granny and David were hugging pie tins to their chests, Belle had a plateful of brownies and Snow was cutting a piece of German chocolate pound cake.

"Wow," Emma said. "Everything looks so good!"

"Help yourself," Snow said.

"With pleasure," Hook declared he sat back down next to Cora who was surveying the table like she expected the cookies to stab her. He grabbed a cookie and devoured it in one bite.

"I swear," Neal whispered in Emma's ear. "This family is one crazy aunt away from being a freaking reality show."

"I bet we'd be bigger than Honey Boo Boo," Emma said back. The she made her to the table and started eating cookies like her life depended on it."

~*oO0Oo*~

Thankfully unlike Thanksgiving, there were no bored games. There were, however, movies. Everyone gathered in the living room to watch Rudolph and Elf complete with near constant questions courtesy of Hook and Cora.

Finally, Snow announced that it was Henry's bedtime.

"Can't I open a present first?" he asked. Although it came out as more of a whine. It didn't take a genius to see that he crashing from his sugar high. "Mom always let me open one before I went to bed."

Snow gave a soft smile and nodded her consent. "Just one," she said. "After that it's bedtime. After all, Santa can come because the curse is broken. You don't want to be awake when he gets here."

Henry nodded enthusiastically and then jumped up. "Which one should I open?"

"Here," Granny said. She was holding out a box wrapped in silver snowflake paper. "This one looks promising."

Henry eagerly grabbed the box and tore off the wrapping paper. He tossed it on the floor and then stared in wonder at the present.

"What is it?" Emma asked. "Let me see."

Henry beamed as he held up an Avengers Lego set. "I'm gonna build this tomorrow!" he cried. Then he stood up. "Good-night Emma, Mom, Dad, Grandma, Gramps, Grandpastiltskin, Belle, Cora, Captain Hook, Ruby and Granny."

"Good-night Henry," they chorused except for Cora who had taken a particular interest in the remote that controlled the Christmas tree lights.

As soon as Henry was upstairs, Belle, Gold, Ruby and Granny started to stand up to leave, but Emma stopped them.

"Come on," she said. "One more movie. I don't think Henry's old enough for it, so I saved it. It's my favorite."

"What is it, dearie?" Gold asked.

Emma held up the case triumphantly. "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Have you guys seen it before?"

"I'm the queen of the lights," Cora declared from the corner.

"Of course you are, Mother," Regina said. "And Miss Swan, I suggest you put in the movie. Some of us want to get home before New Year's."

"Some of us want to get home before New Year's," Emma mocked under her breath. She turned and slid the DVD into the player. She hit play and grinned as the movie began.

~*oO0Oo*~

Emma didn't even realize that she had fallen asleep until she woke up to a loud crash. "What the hell?" she ground out. The DVD select menu was frozen on the TV and everyone was rousing from the sleep that had descended over them all.

"Mother?" Regina hissed. "What did you do?"

Emma looked around and saw Cora standing in the corner over a lump of red fabric.

"Please tell me I'm still dreaming," Snow muttered.

"Mother, you killed Santa Claus!" Regina whisper-yelled being careful not to wake Henry.

"Is that really Santa Claus?" Emma asked. She stood up and walked a little closer to investigate.

"What happened?" Santa muttered in a voice that sounded strangely familiar.

"Charming?" Snow asked. "What are you doing?"

"I wanted to dress up as Santa and leave the presents," David said. "It seemed like a 'grandfather' thing to do. Ow!"

"Hit him again, Mother," Regina said, but Cora had gone back to her seat next to Hook. The pirate and Neal were both still sleeping soundly.

"We should really get going," Belle said. "We didn't plan on spending the night."

Emma glanced over at the clock. "It's already four in the morning and everyone's still here. I'll bet anyone that Henry will be up in less than two hours to open presents so why don't you just hang out?"

"If it's not too much trouble," Belle said.

"But Belle," Gold said. "What about our plans?"

He received a slap to the arm from Belle who whispered, "There will be plenty of time for that later." Then she planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Ok…ew," Emma said. "But alright. Who wants egg nog?"

"Everyone," Snow said. "Except for Neal and Hook."

"I'll be right back," Emma said. She headed into the kitchen and poured nine glasses of egg nog. She balanced them all on a platter and set it down on the coffee table. Everyone grabbed a glass. Cora glared at it for a moment but then swallowed it all in one gulp.

"Who wants to play a game?" Snow suggested.

"Hell no," Regina snapped. No one else said anything, but even Belle gave Snow a look.

"Can I have an ice pack?" David asked. He was still sitting on the floor, but he was sipping egg nog now.

"Get one yourself," Emma said. "You know were the freezer is."

David grumbled something to himself and then pushed himself up and stumbled into the kitchen. An awkward silence descended over the living room. The only sound was Neal's snoring.

"Could this get any more uncomfortable?" Emma joked.

Snow sighed. "Let's just put in another movie."

"I don't think we have anymore good movies," Emma replied.

"Are there any cookies left?" Ruby asked. Emma wordlessly passed her the plate. "Thanks."

Next thing Emma knew, she was hit in the face with a green-frosted sugar cookie. "What the hell, Ruby?!"

"I'm bored and that was funny," Ruby said with a shrug.

Emma glared at the waitress and then grabbed a cooked of her own and threw it. At the last second, Ruby ducked and the cookie hit Cora square in the face. Emma gasped. Regina was doubled over in silent laughter. Gold was smiling impishly. Everyone else just looked from Cora to Emma and back again.

Cora wiped the frosting off her nose and Emma grabbed her glass of egg nog a little tighter, fully prepared to douse the witch if she decided a fireball was an appropriate punishment.

But Cora simply grabbed another cookie and threw it at Emma.

Snow rested her head in her hands and sighed. "Do we have to do this?"

"It's better than sitting here in awkward silence for the next hour and a half," Emma said.

"No, come on," Snow protested. "I don't want to have to clean this all up."

"You know what?" Ruby asked. "She's right. I'm sorry."

The room fell silent again. Finally Emma asked, "What time is it?"

"Four forty-five," Snow said. Emma groaned.

"Can we just all fall back asleep?" she asked. "At least that wasn't so awkward."

"No," Gold said.

"Alright, one vote for no from the guy wearing an uncomfortable and expensive suit. Anyone else?"

"Damn it, Mother, stop playing with the lights!" Regina snapped. Cora dropped the remote and sat back down.

"What was it like when you guys first showed up in Storybrooke?" Emma asked. "I know you didn't have your memories, but what was it like?"

"Regina cried," Gold said.

"I did not!" Regina defended.

"She did?" Emma asked with a sly grin.

"Like a baby," Gold said with a wink.

"Be nice, Rumple," Belle said placing a hand on his chest.

"You know what? Henry went to bed early," Snow said. "Why don't we wake him up and just get away from this topic."

"No, we'll wait for him to get up. There's got to be something on TV," Emma said.

"Why didn't we think of that earlier?" David asked.

"Because we're all tired?" Emma suggested. She grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels until settling on A Christmas Story.

Regina was still stiff and glaring at Gold, but everyone gradually relaxed and started to watch. After nearly half an hour, they started drifting back to sleep. Hook and Neal just snored on.

~*oO0Oo*~

"Wake up!" Henry exclaimed. He raced around the living room. "Wake up! It's Christmas and Santa came!"

"Santa might have bled on the floor a little," David mumbled. He had shed his Santa costume and was back in his normal clothes.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Regina murmured.

"G'morning. Can I open presents now?"

"I guess so," Emma said. "Pass them all out first though. Make sure everyone has their presents before you open any."

"Okay," Henry said.

Everyone sat up and blinked the sleep away. Henry was practically throwing boxes and bags at people until, after five full minutes, the bottom of the tree was bare.

Emma got down on the floor next to her son. "Okay," she said. "Does everyone have everything?" She was greeted with lazy nods. "Open on the count of three. Ready? One…"

"Twothree!" Henry cried. He started ripping the paper off his presents. Everyone else was doing the same save for Regina and Gold who were picking at the tape and Cora and Hook who both seemed wary of the brightly wrapped boxes.

By the time they were done, the room was a mess of crumpled paper, unwrapped presents and discarded bows.

Ruby was staring at a mound of dog toys, leashes and rawhide bones. "Real original, guys," she said, but she was smiling.

Regina had gotten a photo album that Henry had made for her and it was obvious that she was fighting back tears. Emma had given her parents a box with every baby picture of herself that she could track down. On the back of each photo was a story from each of her foster homes.

Cora, Hook and Neal were staring at stereotypical presents like ornaments, candles and picture frames. Belle was already wearing her new teacup earrings and was clutching a copy of Pride and Prejudice to her chest. Gold had the chipped cup in his hands. It was a super-glued version, but it was his cup none the less.

Emma and Henry tied for the most presents. Henry had lots of new Lego sets, a few new video games, a copy of Grimm's Fairy Tales, a boxed set of all the Disney movies and a set of Harry Potter books. Emma was looking at DVD sets of all her favorite shows, a few new movies, a new laptop along with a bunch of games for it and a tiara.

"It was mine when I was a little girl and it was supposed to be yours," Snow explained. "So I want you to have it."

"Wow," Emma said. "I think it's safe to say this is the best thing I've ever gotten in my life."

"Hey!" Henry said.

"Not counting you," Emma replied quickly.

Unbeknownst to everyone, Snow had slipped out of the room and was standing in the doorway with her camera in her hand snapping pictures of her family. Each time someone would move or block the shot, but finally she got a good one.

Emma and David were laughing at Henry who had collected all the bows and stuck them to his face. Belle's and Gold's lips were touching. Cora was frozen with the Christmas tree remote in her hand and Regina was putting an arm up to stop her. Neal and Hook were arguing about something. Ruby was bringing a dog treat curiously to her mouth and Granny was fingering the trigger of her new crossbow. In that one moment, everyone was happy.

"Merry Christmas everyone," Snow whispered with a smile. "Merry Christmas."

~*oO0Oo*~

Finally, everyone cleared out. Emma, Henry, David and Snow were all collapsed in the living room. Emma was the one who broke the silence.

"That was kind of fun."

"It was," Henry agreed. "Can I build my Lego sets?"

"Go ahead," Snow said. As soon as he left, she turned to her husband and daughter. "So who's ready to start preparing for New Year's?"

She received a through pelting with pillows. Then David spoke up. "New Year's is at Regina's place."

* * *

**So there is the long-awaited Christmas chapter. Since people seemed to like the Thanksgiving one so much, I guess I'll continue these. I hope you liked it and please let me know what you thought via that little review box down there. Thanks everybody! :)**


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